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| We were dissecting the hand today, with its mass of innumerable muscles, nerves, arteries. The complexity is staggering. Two tendons that reside in each finger particularly fascinated me: the FDS and FDP. One cord slides neatly and exactly through a natural slit in the other, and pulling on either of them makes your finger curl up. It is a system of the utmost precision, intricacy, and elegance.
Sometimes I can't believe how perfect his creation is.
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| I was reading back on some old journal entries today.
Circumstances have changed, but years later, it's funny how I'm still
struggling with some of the same ol' shiz, the same unhealthy patterns. We get older, but deep down,
do we ever really change? I remember Jack telling me once that he
doesn't feel like he's any different from when he was 12.
I know I feel more cynical and more "world-weary" (whatever that means) now. But am I any wiser or better for it?
Life
hardens us. We build walls around our hearts in our attempts to
preserve them. Instead, we end up staying frozen in time, irretrievably
numbed, incapable of growth or movement or change. We stop seeking after or even
recognizing what's real; we settle for poor substitutes that only serve as temporary escapes. We resolve to be better, but we forget. We see mostly ourselves.
Our
hearts are not meant to be this way. I'm not so foolish as to think
that naivete or ignorance is preferable. But God, even as you teach me
reality, would you also keep my heart tender enough that I would
continue to engage and encounter you in my life, I think especially in the day-to-day ordinary. Would my heart become
alive enough to deeply, unreservedly love the way I so
want to but too often won't...or can't.
"So
I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer
live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They
are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God
because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their
hearts. Having
lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so
as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for
more. You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You
were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your
old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" -Ephesians 4:17-24
"I will give you a new
heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of
stone and give you a heart of flesh. " -Ezekiel 36:26
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