skybluedrm
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Name: Jen


Interests: life and beauty


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Member Since: 2/6/2003

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Monday, November 05, 2007

We were dissecting the hand today, with its mass of innumerable muscles, nerves, arteries. The complexity is staggering. Two tendons that reside in each finger particularly fascinated me: the FDS and FDP. One cord slides neatly and exactly through a natural slit in the other, and pulling on either of them makes your finger curl up. It is a system of the utmost precision, intricacy, and elegance.

Sometimes I can't believe how perfect his creation is.


Saturday, May 19, 2007

I was reading back on some old journal entries today. Circumstances have changed, but years later, it's funny how I'm still struggling with some of the same ol' shiz, the same unhealthy patterns. We get older, but deep down, do we ever really change? I remember Jack telling me once that he doesn't feel like he's any different from when he was 12.
I know I feel more cynical and more "world-weary" (whatever that means) now. But am I any wiser or better for it?

Life hardens us. We build walls around our hearts in our attempts to preserve them. Instead, we end up staying frozen in time, irretrievably numbed, incapable of growth or movement or change. We stop seeking after or even recognizing what's real; we settle for poor substitutes that only serve as temporary escapes. We resolve to be better, but we forget. We see mostly ourselves.

Our hearts are not meant to be this way. I'm not so foolish as to think that naivete or ignorance is preferable. But God, even as you teach me reality, would you also keep my heart tender enough that I would continue to engage and encounter you in my life, I think especially in the day-to-day ordinary. Would my heart become alive enough to deeply, unreservedly love the way I so want to but too often won't...or can't.

"So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" -Ephesians 4:17-24

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. " -Ezekiel 36:26